L.A.M.B.S.

During my twilight sleep this morning I heard, "Perfect love casts out fear." I'd fallen asleep last night asking God to help me overcome a few challenges in my life and this was His answer. I love when His answer is so clear and so specific, yet not what I expected to hear at all. He knows my heart better than I do and apparently I'm afraid. I shared in my last post, It's On , that I've consciously taken on the battle of reclaiming my body after years of abuse. As you know, I have a history of molestation, rape, and physical abuse. Like you, I've also experienced other trauma and sadness in my life. The pain of these experiences is tied up in my Body. That's not to say that my Mind and Spirit weren't affected but I've already won those major battles. Seven months ago, I decided to take my power back so I joined a martial arts studio. This past weekend I earned my Yellow 2 belt. I surprised myself. The intensity of my fighting was a direct ...

I've found that my healing is a journey. It's not a destination, it's a process. Each time I think I've arrived I find that there is more work to do. Once I conquered my Mind, I fought to return to Spirit. Now I'm fighting for my Body. When I was on the battlefield of my Mind I thought it was the worst battle of my life. As I fought to regain control of my thoughts, change my beliefs, and reroute the negativity I tired easily. It's difficult to unlearn what has taken a lifetime to acquire. Yet I kept pushing and praying, crying and laughing, fighting and winning. I learned that I'm stronger than the enemy would have me believe. Once I won that battle of my Mind I knew that I could go deeper and fight to return to Spirit. It was a fight to resurrect myself. If I had known that going in, I'm not so sure that I would have taken on the fight. I told God that I was ready to change and let go of ALL of the things that kept me trapped. It took seven years t...

I originally posted this on Facebook but I know all of you don't follow me there. So, I decided to post here. I'm feeling some type of way today. Every April, we acknowledge #sexualabuse and that's a good thing. People need to know that millions of people are sexually assaulted EVERY month, EVERY day, EVERY minute, around the world. I do not choose to fight for better laws or advocate for longer prison sentences. I choose to focus on the healing journey of the people who have been violated. Passing laws and advocating longer prison sentences for the offenders / attackers does absolutely nothing to help the victims who are struggling to live a 'normal' life every day. Raising money to fight the government is for some people, it's just not for me. I choose to do the hard work, the heavy lifting of talking to women, just like me, who have felt like their lives were taken from them. People whose innocence was snatched from them, whose joy was robbed, whose spi...

It's been over ten months since I posted here. I'm sorry. I can't begin to explain what the last ten months have been like but I've learned much and let go of much. One of the things I've let go of is the need to be perfect. It feels so good to say that. I don't know where this need to do everything perfectly originated but I'm going to go with my childhood. Most issues stem from that place. My parents were and are critical people and when you add sexual abuse to that, it just makes for one big 'I'll never be good enough party.' So, I've decided that going forward, I'm going to do things in my life, even if they aren't perfect. I can't count the opportunities and experiences that I've missed over the years -- all because things weren't 'just right' for me to move forward. I know I'm not the only one. I've beat myself up, put myself down, cried, screamed, and even stomped my feet when things didn't...

This month, I sat with Kamonda Posada , the host of Emerge 360, and we talked about my experience with sexual assault and sexual abuse, and why I feel so strongly about the LAMBS movement. It is a real and raw interview filled with grace, hope, and truth. God has been good to me. My love and my life is in Him and I pray that His light shines through me. I'd love to read your comments after you watch. God bless you. Please remember to keep in touch with me via the following: LAMBS website  YouTube Facebook Twitter

I spent over twenty years suffering in silence, thinking that I was the only one feeling the effects of rape, molestation, and abuse. I thought that I was the only one who had crying spells, trouble forming relationships, the inability to trust, drug abuse, depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.  I thought that I was living in the darkness alone. I was wrong. When I decided to return to the Light and I began talking to others about my journey, I was astounded by how many women (and men) shared my fears and were experiencing the same feelings and behaviors as me. I cannot adequately express in writing what it felt like to know that I had brothers and sisters in this fight with me. I felt like I could breathe deeper, live fuller, and talk freely.  The realization that I was not alone literally changed my life. I hope that joining the movement of Ladies Aligning Mind.Body.Spirit. will change your life, too. I hope that this video touches you because it was quite emot...

If you have experienced sexual assault or sexual abuse, the darkness is pervasive. It is a fly on the wall that won't stop buzzing. It is the hum of your Mind that keeps you up at night. It is the negative thoughts that threaten to destroy every chance at happiness. The darkness is what has allowed you to 'cope' with the memories of the abuse. It offers you a safe place to hide when you feel the shame of all the wrong decisions you've made. The darkness hides you from the world and keeps people from really seeing you. The darkness is a comfortable place and being there is a love-hate relationship. You love the security that it offers but you hate that you want to get out and you don't know how. The darkness is the friend that constantly talks about you and doesn't care about your life or your future. It is the friend that gets on your nerves but you deal with it because it is the only friend you have. The darkness is your best friend and your worst enemy. ...