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Showing posts from January, 2013

The Ex Factor – Part 2: Excuses

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Making excuses is as easy as breathing. We do it every day. Didn’t apply for a new job? Decided to eat an unhealthy breakfast? Broke up with someone that you love? Why? You used an excuse. You didn’t apply for the job because you ‘really are comfortable where you are,’ besides you may not have the qualifications or it may not be ‘the right time’ to make a move. You decided to eat unhealthy foods today because you ‘deserve’ to treat yourself every now and then, even if every now and then has turned into every meal. You broke up with your loved one because he or she made you angry and you ‘don’t have time for those games’ or you are just not ready to become ‘emotionally invested’ in a relationship. The sad thing about excuses is that they are euphemisms for lies. Did I just say, lies? Yes, I believe I did. It is time that someone told you what you are really doing. YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELF. How do I know? I make excuses, too. That’s right, I’m human. However, wha

The Ex Factor – Part 1: Exposure

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Many of us live two lives: one for the public and one in private. This is something that you’ve been conditioned to do since childhood. You were taught that family business stays in the family, even though the family needed help. You were encouraged to follow a specific career path because it would lead to financial increase or respectability. Forget about where your passion may have taken you. You were told that you needed to conform to what is ‘normal,’ lest your peers shun you. For many of you, your abuser told you that if you ever told anyone, great pain would be inflicted upon you. Most of your life has been about covering up the pain, embarrassment, guilt, disgust, tears, depression, self-hate, and fear. You’ve done it so long that it is normal. You don’t even realize that you are no longer your authentic self. When you were violated, your spirit was broken. You went into hiding and you built a life that was acceptable to others. You rarely share your story becau