I'mPossible

I was watching an episode of What Not to Wear yesterday. Hey, don’t judge me. I like fashion and I like seeing Cinderella stories. Anyway, the episode was about a woman named Dolly. She was on the show because her friends recommended her for a makeover. Well . . . while she was going through the mandatory clothes shopping and aesthetic makeover, she had a seminal moment. 

Each time the hosts mentioned to her that she was pretty and each time they asked her why she didn’t think so or why she didn’t feel that she was worthy of doing something nice for herself, she clammed up and got emotional. Eventually she let it out. 

She was sexually abused as a child and one of the effects of that abuse was that she covered her body and dressed like a man to make herself less attractive and less noticeable. WOW! This was a woman who I’m guessing was in her forties or fifties at the time of filming. Yet, there she stood with tears in her eyes and with the small voice of a child, admitting that she had been molested. I cried.

I cried because I know that feeling. I cried because I saw so much of myself in her. But mostly I cried because of what she’d lost. Not only had she lost her childhood but she lost her self-esteem, she lost relationships, she lost years of joy and peace, she lost recognizing her self-worth. She had given up on a happy and peaceful life. 

Why am I telling you this? 

I’m sharing Dolly’s experience with you because that’s what many of us do. You know, people like you and me . . . the “survivors.” First we were first victims, then we became survivors. But I believe that more is possible for us. 

Sadly, many of us still see ourselves victims and many any of us simply see ourselves as survivors because that is how society has labeled us. But that’s another blog for another time. My point is that some of us have forgotten what is possible for our lives.

We are stuck in that moment. A moment when someone abused us, violated us, broke us, defiled us, harmed us, stole from us. A moment when everything we thought we knew about the world was erased. The moment that we went from the light into the darkness. The moment that we went from thinking that anything was possible to accepting defeat. In an instant peace seemed impossible. Joy seemed impossible. A ‘normal’ life seemed impossible. Having a healthy relationship seemed impossible. Healing, impossible. Recovery, impossible. Love, impossible. Me, impossible.

I know the feeling. I’ve been there. But, now I AM here. Like Dotty, I had my own What Not to Wear moment. In fact, I had a series of moments. And you know what? In those moments, I decided that there were certain things that I no longer wanted in my life. I didn’t want to cry every day. I didn’t want to struggle forming new relationships. I didn’t want to look in the mirror and see everything that was wrong with me instead of celebrating the things that were right with me. I didn’t want to be afraid to try something new. I didn’t want to live with the shame of what someone else should be ashamed for doing to me. I didn’t want to be the walking dead anymore. I wanted to live. I wanted to dream. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to love. I wanted to shine. I wanted to believe in the possibilities of my life again. 

It didn’t happen all at once but all it took was that original thought. One little seed of possibility that eventually took root and started to break through the dirt that had buried me alive. Then the possibilities started to flood my Mind.

A different career, possible. An open and trusting relationship, possible. A family, possible. Healing, possible. Recovery, possible. Peace, possible. Joy, possible. An extraordinary life, possible. Me, I’m possible. 

The life I dream of is within my grasp. I have the power to be an Overcomer. Like Dolly, I lived most of my life hiding, taking care of other people, not drawing attention to myself, not daring to dream. 

Wait . . . I have to tell you what happened to Dolly by the end of the show.

She went shopping and bought some ‘girlie’ clothes that showed off her awesome legs (who knew). She changed her hair color. She wore makeup. She looked in the mirror and finally saw the possibilities. She remembered what we tend to forget: We ARE still here! It’s not over! We made it through. Yes, we may have shielded ourselves and made poor choices, but doggone it, we ARE still here. And as long as you ARE still here, the possibilities are endless. Everything is still within your reach.

You have the POWER to change your life. You are possible. 

You don’t have to go back to ‘that moment’ and start from there. You don’t have the power to change the past. HOWEVER, you can begin to change your present and to change your future right now!

Yep, I know you’re thinking, “She’s crazy. She’s just filling my head with the usual mumbojumbo about being an Overcomer. She doesn’t know my story.” Well, you’re right.

I don’t know your story. I don’t know about your life. But I’ll tell you what I do know. I know about MY life. And I know that you and I have something in common, perhaps many things in common. I know that if it’s possible for me, it’s possible for you. Ergo, it’s possible for us. And I know that because I just planted the seed in you.

Now, say it with me . . . “Nothing is impossible because I AM possible.”