What Type of Flower Are You?

I planned to plant new flowers this fall, so I looked at my yard for inspiration. Guess what I found? The flowers that I planted last year had bloomed again. You guessed it...I planted perennials.

For years, I bought annuals and planted them. Then I uprooted them and planted new flowers. Last fall, I wanted to teach my four-year-old about flowers—how they are planted,  and how they grow, bloom, die, and have to be planted again. Well, the lesson was for me. In my zeal to teach him, I mistakenly bought perennials.

Perennials bloom during the season, die, and then come back stronger the next year. Some perennials even spread and have to be cut back, lest they take over the yard or planter. Wow! That’s an entirely different lesson to teach my son. I can teach him to be a perennial in life. No matter how many attacks the enemy launches against him, he can come back bigger and stronger than before.

Think about it.

If you are a survivor of any type of abuse, at some point you became an annual or a perennial. You chose, probably subconsciously, how you would live the rest of your life based on the hurt you experienced. As you tried to fight your way out of the pain, you either tried to reinvent your life each time or you fought through the pain, dug deeper, and came back stronger after each battle.

In my youth, I was an annual. Each year, I promised myself that I was going to let go of the pain. I promised that I was going to become a better person, love myself more, and forgive those who wronged me. Yet, year after year, I found myself in the same position. I never had time to grow and become stronger because I was constantly uprooting myself whenever I felt uncomfortable.

As I grew older and stronger in my faith, I became a perennial. I planted myself and watered my Spirit with the Word. I made up my Mind that I would not be moved, no matter what device the enemy used to attack me. I grew where I was planted and my faith took root. As I continued to study the Word and fill my Mind with life changing Spiritual principles and new thoughts, I began to grow. I became stronger each year and eventually I wanted to share what I learned with others. My faith and my love began spreading.

Are there times when I still feel the absence of the sun on my leaves? Yes. In those moments, I call on my faith to get me through. I am rooted and I come back stronger. I have learned that when thoughts, behaviors, and relationships in my life have served their purpose, I need to let them die. It’s okay for me to lose those leaves. When they go into the ground, they become fertilizer for my Spirit and help me to grow stronger for my next season.

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MIND: What thoughts have taken root in your mind? As a survivor, you may find that thoughts of blame, shame, guilt, and pain often creep into your thoughts. You are NOT what someone did to you. You are NOT a victim. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS.

The next time one of these thoughts crosses your mind, change the thought immediately. Close your eyes for a few seconds and see yourself as a beautiful flower. Feel the sun shining on you and reach for the light. Dig your feet into the ground and stand strong. Say aloud, “I am a beautiful flower. My roots are deep and strong. I will continue to grow and thrive. I shall not be moved.”

BODY: When you are a survivor, you often think that your body is not your own. You may not take care of yourself like you should. This may take the form of poor personal hygiene, obesity, eating disorders, or poor personal grooming. It may even be difficult to look at yourself in the mirror.

you must accept that your body is a manifestation of the choices that YOU have made. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR BODY.

When you are alone, look at yourself in the mirror. You may be clothed or naked when you do this. Look at your reflection and ask, “What have I done to myself to hide myself from the world?”

You may not wear make-up so that you blend in or you may wear baggy clothes to hide your body. You may not do your hair because you don’t want to put in the effort to look good. You may have allowed yourself to become overweight because you eat to cover the pain. You may be starving yourself to deal with the pain or you may be physically hurting yourself to maintain the pain.

STOP!

YOUR BODY BELONGS TO YOU. YOU ARE A TEMPLE.

How you treat yourself is a manifestation of how you treat God. Yes, I said it. He lives within you and how you treat yourself is how you are treating Him. If you are looking to have a stronger faith walk then you have to begin by taking care of yourself. If you make time for yourself, you will make time for Him.

Decide to change just one thing about yourself and make it your focus. If you think you will need help, then reach out to someone who can help you. What does this look like?

If you have an eating disorder or you are overweight, go speak with a nutritionist, a personal trainer, or with your doctor. If you haven’t changed your hair in twenty years, go talk to a hair stylist. If you are hurting yourself, reach out to a mental health professional. Most of these people will provide you with a free consultation.

If you’re not ready to see someone in person, search the Internet or go to the library, research your issue, and develop a plan to make a change. Talk to a friend about your thoughts and enlist their help.

As positive thoughts take root in your MIND and you continue to feed your SPIRIT, your BODY will naturally want to change. KEEP MOVING. KEEP GROWING. KEEP REACHING FOR THE LIGHT.

SPIRIT: This season, buy two flowers or houseplants and put them in the soil. As you remove the plants from the container, look at the roots, shake them loose, and think of rooting yourself.

Water Plant #1 and give it the food it needs. Periodically remove the dead leaves. Watch how the plant grows and spreads as you continue to feed it and take care of it.

Leave Plant #2 alone. Feed it occasionally. Remove it from the sun or light it requires and don’t prune it. Notice how it turns brown and begins to die from lack of care and attention.

These plants are examples of your Spirit. If you take care of yourself and stay rooted like Plant #1, you will continually grow stronger. Feed yourself the Word and stay close to the Son. Drink plenty of water, too. Staying hydrated will also help your Body.

If you are like most people, you care for yourself sporadically, like Plant #2. THE GOOD NEWS is that you can save yourself and thrive (and so can Plant #2)! Start focusing on feeding your Spirit with the Word and surrounding yourself with quality people and experiences. Get rid of your dead leaves. Fertilize your Spirit and watch yourself grow.

Just like the plant, you can take a piece of yourself, share it with others, and watch your words and kindness take root in them. Once your plant outgrows the container, take a piece of it, plant it in another container, and share it with a friend. You will be giving them life.

“Love is the flower you've got to let grow.” ~ John Lennon