Dear Younger Me: It's. Not. Your. Fault.

Nothing is as painful as believing that you’re responsible for what someone did to you. And nothing is as condemning as the shame and guilt of the choices you made because of your assumed responsibility. 

If I knew then what I know now
Would’ve not been hard to figure out
What I would’ve changed if I had heard

Dear younger me
It’s not your fault
You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross

The first time I heard Dear Younger Me, I was overwhelmed with a sense of . . . truth. In three minutes and thirty-seven seconds, my life changed.

I was abused multiple times in my childhood. As a little girl, I believed and accepted that I’d done something wrong. That I'd put out some weird energy that brought those people to me. I thought that maybe I was too nice or too cute. When I was older and it happened again, I believed that I was responsible for the cycle. 

I accepted that I owned the pain and I caused the suffering. Even worse, I thought that God thought about me the way that I thought about me. I believed that I had to be perfect and I'd spend the rest of my life trying to make up for my mistakes and earn back His love. 

And then I heard those four words – it's not your fault – and they broke through every wall I'd ever raised. Four simple words destroyed every belief and I shifted. I experienced a different sense of freedom.

Every time I hear those words I let go a little more. I forgive myself again. I change the story in my head and my life becomes a prayer. I move past the guilt and the shame to the amazing life that lies ahead.

I move to the next verse . . .

Dear younger me 
You are holy
You are righteous
You are one of the redeemed
Set apart a brand new heart
You are free indeed

Every mountain every valley
Thru each heartache you will see
Every moment brings you closer
To who you were meant to be


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