DYM: What are you made of?

Dear younger me
I cannot decide
Do I give some speech about how to get the most out of your life
Or do I go deep
And try to change
The choices that you’ll make cuz they’re choices that made me

No one likes to be told that they’ve done something wrong – or is it just me? I’ll listen to you talk all day if you’re going to share something that may change my life, but if your speech turns into a lecture – no thank you.

The bottom line is that the power of life and death live in your tongue. And honestly, people don’t need another speech about what they should have done or what you would have done differently if you were in their shoes.

But do you want to know what is powerful? Your story. Your vulnerability. Your testimony. Your shortcomings. Your lessons learned. And your willingness to share – all of it. The good things in life are – well, good. But it’s the challenges in life that build character, strength, and resilience. I’ve never heard anyone tell a story where everything went their way – you know when I was a kid everyone loved me and I never went through anything. My beliefs haven’t been challenged. I never made a wrong decision. I’ve never shed a tear.

Nope. Never heard it. It just doesn't happen. 

But you know what I have heard? Stories of ordinary people who manage to survive in extraordinary circumstances – and somehow – they turn out okay. I’ve heard from people who’ve been homeless, raped, abused, molested, rejected, turned away, kicked out, left behind, adopted, fostered, left to survive on their own, beaten, trodden, sickened, burned, led astray, taken advantage of, beaten, maimed, broken. 

And you know what? They’ve used everything they’ve been through – the challenges, the good times, the happiness, the sadness, the tears, and the pain to make it through life. And they’re not just sitting around on their hashtags. They’re using what they’re made of to survive, thrive, and overcome.

You wanna know why? Because life is a series of choices – some good, some bad. And those choices lead to outcomes which lead to more choices. It’s hard to pinpoint a moment that could have changed everything. 

I mean, what if I hadn’t dated those losers? Would I have an appreciation for my husband?

What if I hadn’t miscarried those children? Would I be as grateful for my son?

What if I hadn’t been molested, raped, abused? Would I be sitting here writing this entry for you? 

Don’t get me wrong . . . the walk hasn’t been easy but my experiences made me who I am today. I love that I’m strong. I love that I’m trustworthy. I love that I have integrity. I love owning my power. 

I’m not made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I’m unique. I’m set apart. 

And so are you. 

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